Starting over

As I look around at my life again, it feels a lot like it did a year and a half ago. Physically and mentally. Living in a room in my mothers house. Trying to turn my focus away from a broken relationship and worry about only me. Its hard, especially when it feels more like regression than progression. I try everyday to look at the bright side. That I'm creating a solid base for myself, something that I haven't had for a while. One that will begin and end with me instead of me being a part of an us. I can't say it is exciting only because most times I can only see the loneliness that comes from living alone. But it will be good. I have a plan, and I won't preempt it by getting into another relationship. But the allure of love is a powerful drug. I miss the feeling of being in love, feeling love, sharing love. It may be the reason that she is on my mind so much. But I know that she is living her life, forgetting about me if she hasn't already forgotten, and I must do the same. Its how I mostly get through my days, knowing that one day I will be where I want to be. Love will be by my side.